In my experience, intimate relationship serves two primary purposes...
First, there is the profound comfort and fulfilling joy of sharing life’s journey in partnership. A partnership that can bring the comfort of loving companionship to navigate the triumphs and challenges that life can entail.
The second primary purpose of intimate relationship is that it provides both parties an opportunity to be increasingly awakened to ever deeper levels of empathy, compassion and unconditional love.
Intimate relationship is an elegant and masterfully designed vehicle for healing and residing in the Authentic Self. While many romantic stories may lead us to believe in a “happy” or “honeymoon ever after,” in my own 20+ year marriage, I’ve found that marriage includes a healthy measure of sandpapering that goes on providing opportunities for both myself and my Beloved Spiritual partner & wife to smooth our edges and meet ourselves and each other with increasing depth and capacity for consideration, care and honoring.
Healthy relationships can only flourish in a context of safety and mutual transparency. In my work coaching couples, I have the privilege of holding a sacred space where each partner can be deeply heard and encouraged in risking courageous transparency. In this safe container, with sustained support over time, a healing and empowering orientation to intimate relationship can be cultivated.
Rather than being alarmed by unsettling moments of upset, couples learn how to take time-outs and recognize disturbance as something like the light on the dashboard of a car coming on. The light/upset is not the real issue. The light may say, “Oil Change” or “Brakes.” That’s simply an indicator it’s time to look under the hood and tend to what’s really the source of the issue. In this way, in my own marriage, and in working with clients, any moment of upset becomes an opportunity for emotional maturation and increasing mastery of looking under the hood of one’s own hurt and extending self-empathy and healing love. In couples’ coaching, I have the honor of supporting my clients in upleveling their competence in holding a safe space for themselves and each other, and stepping beyond destructive reactivity and wrong making into the sacred space where each can be heard with honoring and genuine curiosity.
As each partner learns to risk transparency and be met with honoring-- a most profoundly soul-nourishing renewal and affirmation takes place for each partner and for the relationship itself.
The central benefits of my work with couples are:
Establishment of a safe container to grow intimacy
Depth & emotional maturity
Advanced skills bringing in embracing healing opportunities when upset
Renewal & deepening of early courtship enthusiasm and closeness
Embracing greater depth of connection which leads to freer and more fulfilling lovemaking - a natural by-product of intimacy
Harmonious flow that honors each partner's needs
Advanced communication skills that foster safety, depth & intimacy
Coaching each partner in effectively working with upset when it happens
Enhanced understanding of your partner and your own feelings and needs. The skills to honorably meet those needs within the marriage.
Increased facility with forgiveness and the emergence of a shared learning orientation to relationship
In the event you and your partner are receptive to engaging in this intimate committed journey, I welcome hearing from you.